Well Meaning Advice

Exhausting.  Thrilling.  Satisfying.  Monotonous.  Emotional.

These words all describe my experiences as mommy to little ones.

Satisfying because I find such enjoyment in my children.  Emotional because they don't come with a manual and their mood swings affect mine. (And honestly, sometimes being a mama to two human beings just scares the mess outa me.)  Monotonous because many times I slither into bed having finally accomplished all that the day required, knowing full well that in a few short hours I'll wake up and do it all again.  (Seriously, I spend about a third of my waking hours cleaning the kitchen  before the next meal hits.)

And I think exhausting is self-explanatory.

"Enjoy them being little.  They grow up too fast."

"You'll be walking her down the isle before you blink."

"Cherish each moment.  They'll be gone before you know it."

So I find myself conflicted when parents of grown children offer these unsolicited bits of advise to me on a regular basis, well-meaning strangers and confidants alike.  These statements don't make me angry, though how the heck am I supposed to enjoy Kroger trips with two little ones, the little one wanting down, the big one wanting up; one screaming for a coveted item in the cart, the other screaming in need of yet another potty trip? All the while I'm trying to concentrate on my categorized, coupon bearing list making sure that I get exact increments of the participating five items as souring grocery prices continue to nickel 'n dime us to death. Where's the fun in that?!

(Rabbit chase:  Gabe has gone to the grocery for me the last three weeks in a row, with my coded, categorized list in tow and a string of instructions and buyers-beware warnings jam packed in his head.  He's come home mentally exhausted realizing there's still groceries to be unloaded and put away.  He's commented several times how he doesn't know HOW I do this every week with children.  Props to Mommy...and Daddy!)

I have a friend who gets down right mad when these statements are uttered to her.  Mad is not exactly my reaction. I'm just trying to wrap my brain around it and figure out what I should do, that in retrospect, these empty nesters would tell their younger selves.

One night after dinner Gabe and I attempted to have this conversation over the din of whiny, cheerio throwing, crumb dropping children. (What's a "relaxing meal" again??)  Gabe wondered how in the world he's supposed to slow time down as it seems to already be spinning out of control so that the days and weeks just fly by in a blur of activity and responsibility.

I had been chewing on this exact thought for several days leading up to our discussion and this is what I came up with...

The goal is not to slow down time.  That's just not gonna happen. The whole idea is to (and excuse me for using this word that sometimes makes me gag, but for lack of a better one) "cherish the time".  I know, I know...don't utter those words to me on the cereal isle while pushing an overloaded cart.  I might just run you over. (And no, I did NOT cherish pregnancy nausea, thankyouverymuch.)  So let me rephrase that.  Focus on the good in every phase and not the ugly.  "Focus" is an easier word to swallow as it inclines to putting one's attention on though not necessarily embracing the said matter.  Because if we "wish" the bad away (i.e. "I can't wait to get this baby off  bottles", "If only this child were potty trained", "Bless the day she can dress herself", and my personal favorite, "whhheeennn will I get ME time??"), we'll come to the end of our lives realizing we wished our entire lives away.  And that, my friends, is where the regret roots and flourishes.

It's the age old the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side mentality that we are all plagued by.  "My life would be so much better if only fill-in-the-blank."  And if we continue in this mindset we'll come to the fourth quarter of our lives and realize that the good was overlooked as we constantly focused on getting the bad gone.  Every season has ups and downs, failures and successes.  There's the good, bad and ugly in it all.  So the secret is not to get the bad gone in hopes of smoother sailing, but instead to love the good in the midst of the annoyances.

I'm not saying that as a young mama I should love Kroger trips, and if I don't then something is wrong with me and I need a heart adjustment.  And no, cleaning under the table, mopping the bathroom, and scrubbing crayon (and sharpie) off the walls are not on my list of fun ways to pass the time.  And I've not figured out how to avoid the witching hours of 4-6pm when my children are tired, hungry and sometimes just plain overstimulated from the day as I count down the minutes till hubby walks through the door.  (Not every afternoon is that way, but all honest mamas are nodding their heads in agreement on that one.) But I am saying to enjoy your children.  Find the pleasures in being a tired, slap wore out mama to the ones who are walking around with your heart.  All too soon, I'm sure, we'll forget about the tired, slap wore out part, and will do anything for the loud silence of our empty house to go away.

"Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith"

Let Down Your Hair for the Best Party Ever!

This past weekend was Kendall's birthday party. After attending one of her bffs birthday party she decided that she too needed a Tangled party. So back to the birthday planning drawing board Mommy went.  Rapunzel became a fun, easy theme to decorate for so as usual, Mommy had a blast getting everything ready.

Thanks to Reagan, her aforementioned bff, we had plenty of decorations!

Papa and Gigi & Nana and Grandpa gave her a chair to match the one Brielle got.

And Mommy used her artistic abilities to add a little more fun as well.

After failed attempts searching the metro area for a decent priced Barbie cake, Nana surprised Kendall with one made by a friend in New Orleans.

Aaand the Walmart cake as well...

 There was about fifteen yards of "hair" draped all over the kitchen and den.

Party favors for her four invited guests:  Timberlynn, Reagan, Meredyth and Sidney.

 

The girls had a blast jumping in the space walk.

 

 

 

After the party the family had time to jump until the party crasher came to retrieve the space jump.

 

I think it was the BEST PARTY EVER!! Happy 5th, Kendall!!

Happy 5th Birthday, Kendall!

Happy 5th Birthday Kendall!!

Last year at her birthday I interviewed Kendall.  Here's her answers to the same questions a year later...


What's your favorite...

color - pink and purple still, but also added is dark blue and yellow

toy - baby dolls and Barbies

food - chicken in ranch dip

restaurant  - El Potrillo

day of the week - Saturday because Daddy doesn't have to go to work

video - Barbie

tv show - Lawrence Welk

Disney movie - Beauty and the Beast and Tangled

fruit - strawberries

lunch - cheese sandwich, chips and mandarin oranges

game - Princess Memory

snack - Chees-its and yogurt

animal - giraffe

book - Barenstein Bears

friends - Timberlynn, Meredyth, Reagan and Sidney

thing to do outside - play freeze tag

holiday - Valentines Day so I can get a basket and give my friends Valentines

song - Jesus Loves Me

Bible story - Noah

thing to so at school - play outside

What do you want to be when you grow up? a mommy and a singer

What makes you special?  God made me.

Where do you like to go? snowball stand, Mexican restaurants and the park

What does the Bible say?  Love others and be kind.Jesus

What does Mommy say alot?  Pick up your toys.

What does Daddy say alot? Clean your room.

What do you like to do with Mommy? Play doctor.

What do you like to do with Daddy? Play games.

What are you good at?  coloring

Say a Bible verse:  God so loved the world that He sent His Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  John 3:16