Ok, so this blog is for me to record all my mommy thoughts and memories so that one day I can look back and laugh, cry and remember how things were. And this day is yet another one for the books. I'm thrilled by those of you who are entertained with my posts, but, really, this blog is first and foremost for me because I find myself already forgetting stuff I never thought I would. And that scares me! Mommy Brain at its finest, I guess.
Last week I blogged about a typical Friday for Kendall and me. Today, a typical Monday...with a twist. It's not the feel-good, grab a kleenex, this-is-why-I'm-glad-to-be-a-Mommy story. Rather, it's real mommyhood at its finest.
First we went to story time at the library, which Kendall LOVES. We've made some "library" friends in the process and Kendall enjoys the songs and books every week. And we had a grand time as usual. (That's the good, grab-a-kleenex part.)
As usual, our next stop was Kroger. I am one of those coupon-clipping moms who gets a rush every week over saving money and checking my receipt to see if I had set a new record. I'm all about The Grocery Game (
thegrocerygame.com) and I have found it really works for me. So Kendall and I breeze in loaded down with goldfish crackers, checklist of sale items, and coupons. Time to buckle down and save some money!
This record high pollen level has gotten the best of all of us. And today is no exception. My head is stuffy, by brain is fuzzy, and I can't smell a thing (an important detail to this story). Well, at the halfway point of our venture we past a lady and I get a whiff of what I think is poop. "Gosh, that woman smells like a dirty diaper!" I think to myself. On the next isle over when I think I smell it again I decide to check Little Bit's diaper. OH NO! A perfect storm of diarrhea and extreme diaper failure has occured! IT'S US I think to myself. Great.
I head to the front and ask an employee at the counter if I can leave my cart there to take my child out to the car to change her. I had invested too much time and energy to walk away now empty handed. (There's my determination to conquer kicking in again.) We get to the car and it's everywhere. My first goal is to keep it off the seats. The only thing I have to lay her down on is my jacket. I quickly shed it and spend the remainder of this episode freezing. I somehow manage to get her stripped nekked and laying down to begin the clean up process. I'll spare the details, but halfway through, the rain that the meteorologists have been incorrectly predicting for three days decides to blow through. My backside is getting soaked, and Kendall is not in the most cooperative mood. I throw diaper, clothes and all into a garbage bag and scoot into the car with her to get her dressed. That's when I realize that the front door had been open this entire time and the seat and everything on it is getting soaked. When we are all cleaned up and sanitized (twice each) the rain quits (of course) and we head back in.
The remainder of the trip is rushed and uneventful (thank goodness). With no time, energy or want-to to cross check prices per ounce or coupon quantity/size specifics, I just throw the remainder of the stuff into the cart, hope for the best and rush for the check out. The entire time I'm still getting faint whiffs of yucky-smell which I can't tell whether is my paranoid imagination or unnoticed "stray markings" on either her or me.
We get home and I notice round #2 has hit. This time targeting her (again), me (again), her Cozy Coop (those red and yellow cars that are push peddled Flinstone style with cute little gas cap on the side and the license plate on the back) which she was riding while I was unloading groceries, and the changing table. All of the following needed to be done first: get cold stuff in fridge, get frozen stuff in freezer, clean changing table, give Kendall Gatorade, eat lunch (the first thing scratched off the list), and take the garbage out.
After the list gets accomplished finally and Kendall is resting for a nap, the remainder of the clean up process awaited. I decided to pressure wash the clothes outside with the hose before throwing them in the wash on the boiling setting. And being the over-achieving multi-tasker I am, I figured while I had the hose out I'd better water the flowers and clean out the vacuum bin. (We have one of those vacuums that needs a full pan of water to run, thus leaving a big pan of yucky dirt water when done.)
Clothes rinsed. Flowers watered. While pressure washing the vacuum bin, though, the water hits at a funny angle and ricochets back drenching my head and face. At this point, I decide I'd better just give in and get a full shower. I give up. My conquering is done for the day.
So here I sit, showered and clean. And Kendall is peacefully resting. And all the groceries are put away. And the clothes are in the wash. And I polished off a Milky Way Easter Egg that I got for 75% off the day after Easter. And all is well. We'll see what the afternoon holds.
I just think it's funny that while in the grocery store I saw a mother of newborn twins, both of whom were peacefully sleeping in their carriers while she shopped. The sun was beaming down on her glowing smile, a chorus of angels were singing as she strolled by, and all in her world was perfect. BUT, I do know that her turn is coming. Double.
