Big Hug, Big Kiss

So, naturally, being a two-year-old little girl lives in our household, we've been working big time on whining and complaining.  It seems like a constant issue.  Everyday I find myself saying the same things.

"Mommy doesn't understand whining.  You will have to use your big girl words to tell me what you want."

"Mommy doesn't listen to whining.  You will have to go sit on your bed if you continue to whine."

And I could continue with numerous variations of the same.  Can I get an amen?

I know, I know, part of this is the mere fact that she's two.  And my job as her mommy is to teach her.  God reminded me lately when I was stressing (and borrowing trouble) that my demanding two-year-old would grow into a demanding, spoiled little adult that SHE'S TWO.  And He gently added, "The reason she's in your care for eighteen years is that it takes that long to raise a child."  In other words, don't place today's issues on her ten to fifteen years from now.  Parenting is a process.  It takes time and patience just as a small seed grows into a might oak. And the fruits of our parenting efforts are not immediate, but they are effective and certain. And here's the nutshell:  be patient. After all, God's had to be a whole lot more patient with me over the years as I've exerted my own adult will and attitudes that needed pruning and refining than I've had to be with my own wee one.  Talk about the plank and the speck.  (Matthew 7:4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?)


Well, one mommy declaration Kendall has heard PLENTY of is:

"Kendall, the Bible says, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing." (Philippians 2:14)

I mean if there's one verse that has been hidden in her heart it's certainly that one.  And I know by faith that I WILL see fruits of this since God's Word doesn't return void. I will.  Mights oaks...

And through my formal education, limited parental experience, and teacherly admonishings to other parents/teachers, I know that two-year-olds can become very frustrated as they're learning to navigate this big world (not much different than adults who just learn to internalizel their little fits).  They need a healthy balance of patience, grace, and clear boundaries and expectations. And so some days, like this morning, I actually decided to take my own advise.

Kendall, as all two-year-olds, gets many orders and instructions each day.  Put your plate in the sink.  Pull your pants back up.  Close the door.  Keep the door open.  Leave the dog alone.  Keep the marker on the paper.  And all the before...you-must directives.  Before you go outside you must get your shoes.  Before you can watch a video you must take a nap.  Before you can go play you must take your medicine. So I try to sprinkle a little humor and fun into it as an incentive.  Maybe by giving some funny commands she'll learn to listen to her parents' words and not see them as pure torture.  We all need comic relief occasionally.

This morning after all her routine instructions and guidance over everything from pottying to breakfast to medicine, she said she wanted to go finish watching her show.

"Mommy, I go watch Cat in the Hat, ok?"

"Ok, but first....you must give Mommy a big hug, big kiss!"

She squeals and throws her arms around me for a big squeeze.  I give her a kiss on the cheek and send her on her way to the den.  Ahhh....Mommy gold star for me!  All's right in our little world.  I have an obedient, compliant toddler.

Screeching breaks. The singing angelic chorus of Hallelujah is silenced.

Here is comes, the dreaded, wrinkled face and mouth set for a big whale of a whine. And my blood pressure skyrockets in like 0.2 seconds and my stomach plummets.  It's only eight o'clock and let round one begin.  (So much for all my anti-complaining campaigns.  Again, my mind zooms lightning speed into the far future before I can reign it back into the present.)

"Mommmm-mmmmmeeee! NOOO! Mommy!!"

"What, Baby?" in the most patient, understanding voice I can muster.

Arms stretched out, "I didn't give you a big kiss yet!!!"

And, bloggies and fellow mommies, that's one whine I think I will quickly pardon for today. 

Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Galatians 6:8-10