Terrifying

Know what scares me as a mamma right now more than anything else??

... arguing, whining or complaining? nope

... sibling rivalry? nope, but we have a touch of it around here lately

... outside influences? nope

Even more than moving to first grade next year...

...POTTY TRAINING!

Seriously.  Potty training my first born was by far the most traumatic mommy experience thus far.  I don't have any credentials to offer any new mama advice in this department given it took me three years, yes YEARS, to potty train my elder child.  Granted, along the treacherous journey medical GI issues were diagnosed that were our of her control which played a huge role in the potty training obstacle .  But some behavior was in her control.  And mix that all together and it was three long, frustrating, bury-my-head-in-the-sand journey to dry panties. Like my bff said, "she was the worst case scenario."

I have avoided potty training my second.  I've fled from it as though a clown was chasing me with a knife.  I've dreaded this season since the day I found out I was pregnant.  Please, Lord, just let me skip over potty training.   If any mother deserves a child who potty trains on her own over night it's me, Lord.  I've done my time!  (By the way, I instantly dislike any mother who claims the twenty-four hour independent training method stated aforementioned.  They're liars. And I don't appreciate those mamas either that "just stayed home one weekend and knocked it out."  Liars.)

Put me in a room full of toddlers or preschoolers, and I'm in my element.  I can manage the room with one hand behind my back.  Circle time, paint time, etc, I got it. Put me in a bathroom with a potty and a two-year-old with her own agenda, and I buckle at the knees and hit the floor. Oh the ineptitude of it all!!

I have hoped the old adage of siblings being opposites would really play to my benefit in this situation.  No such luck so far.  I'm only half kidding when I state that I'm not potty-training.  I'm just holding out for the day Brielle sits me down and says, "Mommy, all my friends at school were big girl panties and big boy underwear.  Can I wear some too?"

Seriously.  Avoiding like the plague.

I did get brave stupid two weeks ago and decide to give it a try.  I gave up by 9am when I found her mopping up a pee puddle with her shirt and laughing.  Bribery will not get her to the potty.  Force will only keep her on the potty for 3.5 seconds.  Skittles and m&m's? No doing.  Brielle proudly names which friends in her class tee tee in the potty, then proceeds to inform me that she only tee tees in diapers.

Hives.  Breaking out.

This July birthday of hers will allow her to squeak by into preschool next year.  And I really find no solace in the advice that she'll do it in her own time.  To my elder child that happened to be at age six.  And the clock is ticking on mandatory potty training rule for preschool. 

Oh the stress of it all.

So I'm offering a huge reward to any individual willing to step up and potty train my child.  Because this mama just can't seem to face the mountain again. 

Hopefully positive updates will come soon that will make the offer null and void.  Stay tuned.