More Than Just Content

I know Thanksgiving is right around the corner and we all, myself included, get all wrapped up in thankfulness.  This reminder is a good thing as it seems we, definitely myself included, can so easily lose focus and forget all our blessings.

Even though it happens to be mid-November God has been really teaching me about true contentment.  And by contentment I'm not merely referring to just learning to submissively yet unenthusiastically accept what little we have to settle with while choosing to not focus on the have-nots glaring us down.  I'm referring to coming to a new realization that sometimes "blessings" as we in our temporal minds tend to see things, are not really blessings at all. Often they can be hindrances.  Hindrances from truly experiencing God's grace, mercy and love.  Hindrances to living the life God created us to each live.

I get myself so wrapped up in my own four walls that I often fail to keep my priorities straight; my emotions in check; my neighbor in need on the foreground; my Jesus as Lord. Instead I turn a blind eye and with all my muster plow through another day's to-do list with little thought to how God wants to use me. Oh, I throw up some prayers and of course pray blessings and safety over my family. (I would be in ill-fit wife and mother if I didn't.)  But my heart's intent is to just feel the satisfaction of scratching it off my list. I find myself worrying more about details that really don't matter to a hill of beans by the end of the day.  I find myself with an edgy tone to my voice.  I find myself unsatisfied.  I find myself plain slap worn out and emotionally, mentally and even physically drained. Why?  All because I'm pouring a majority of my focus, energy and attention on things that just stinkin' don't matter. Or of they do matter, I'm trying to be a doer and a pleaser by attempting to accomplish too much.   It's not that these things are wrong or evil or should be banned forever.  The travesty is when these details get out of whack, re-prioritized, and just plain bent out of shape.  Then as I slither into bed at night and collapse I wonder what's up.

So here's my list of blessings that might not seem as such:

I'm thankful for my ever-shrinking house.  There are several good things to be considered.  It means I now have TWO daughters.  Neither of them lacks for clothes.  They both have a bed to sleep in at night.  And they are blessed with toys and possessions.  It also means that I can de-clutter and get rid of stuff.  I'm finding as I'm now thirty-ish that more stuff just ties me down and creates extra work and upkeep.  And when I do get a new house one day (with pa-lenty of storage) I will be even more grateful for it.

I'm thankful that I can't get anything accomplished on Tuesdays or Thursdays.  And it's because I'm at a job that I love, ministering to children and their parents and teachers.  It forces me to get outside my own little world twice a week and love on others.  And God is teaching me that sometimes those that seem unlovable need love the most.

I'm thankful that I own very little "nice" stuff.  And by nice I mean expensive, immaculate, gorgeous furniture.  It would just be covered in layers of filth just like my kitchen chairs, couch and rug.  I don't have to worry about anything getting ruined. One less thing to worry about.  And for the record, I do work my tail off to keep everything clean and decluttered.  But when the red jello jiggles off the spoon...again...I can throw up an unaffected "oh well" instead of depleting my body of oxygen.

I'm thankful there is always a mess to clean up.  It means I have two healthy little girls (and a normal husband) which leaves much job security as mamma and wife. 

I'm thankful my husband and I don't have all night to cuddle together on the couch watching tv (though the thought sounds very inviting!).  We're both busy cleaning a house and cleaning the kids.  Gabe is a wonderful daddy, playing with and caring for his girls when he gets home from work. Besides, other than Saints games, what is worth watching on tv anyway?? (No wise cracks needed on the Saints, please.  True Who Dats know how to celebrate the little victories ~i.e. keeping an opponent under 300 total yards ~ as well as the big victories ~ like SUPERBOWLS!) Plus he helps me with dishes and laundry too. (yes, be jealous!)

I'm thankful I can't go on a week long vaca with the hubs.  I would miss my babies too much.

I'm thankful that Sunday is often NOT a day of rest.  God has given me the opportunity and responsibility to teach four-year-olds ("the least of these") His truth as well as serve Him in other aspects each morning as well.  He's blessed us with amazing, godly friends who we can live life with and raise our children with.

I'm thankful I can't sit down over coffee each morning with "my person".  It makes those phone conversations as we share our hearts and solve the world's problems just that much sweeter.

Just making this list spurs me on to so much more I am thankful for.  I don't merely throw up a generic, thankful heart to some ambiguous force out there somewhere.  I thank my Lord, my Savior, Jesus, for loving me unconditionally, blessing me beyond measure, forgiving me beyond fathom.  There's nothing I did to earn it. There's no way I deserve it.   There's nothing I can do to repay it.  And that's what's so amazing about grace. 

May I not grow weary in running the race.  May I not become discontent and miss God's blessings.  May I not grow complacent that I miss what God has in store for me now, in this season of my life. He has me here, now, for a reason.  May I grow into more of His image.  May I find my purpose and live it.