Ready or Not!

Ready or not it's here.  That dreaded day that five and three fourths years ago seemed so far away and really was a non-thought to a bleary eyed new mommy.  That day that somehow "snooked" (Kendall's word) up on all of us.  That day that puts a gut wrenching knot in the pit of every mama's stomach.  That day that you know is the beginning of a new chapter in your child's life.  That day that wakes you up to realize it's a new chapter in MAMA'S life as well. That day that brings such an odd stirring of excitement and accomplishment along with anxiety and worry in the heart of every mama.

The First Day of Kindergarten

The day that my heart will be entering into a school building to begin a long journey of education and self discovery...without me. The day my child will grow her wings a little more.  The day my child realizes she's ready and mama just needs to get on board. The day mama does a reality check on what exactly her goals in parenting her child is and is not.  If I'm supposed to be loving and nurturing my child all while preparing and equipping her for her own future independence then this is the most logical first step, right? RIGHT.

The First Day of Kindergarten

But, oh the first step is the hardest!  The first tears are the most bittersweet.  And the first smiles are the most healing and rewarding.

So here begins Kendall's first steps...

Those first steps out of the house.  Those first steps into the parking lot and toward the school door.

I mean, I have prepared her and me as much as possible, right? The August checklist has been completed...

...new crisp school clothes...check
... new feaux lacing tennis shoes (cuz we're still working on that)...check
... new monogrammed and matching book bag and lunch box...check
... inspiring lunch box ideas pinned on my Pinterest board...check
... registration complete...check...way back in March because you can't be late!
... school supplies purchased, labeled and organized...check
... handbook read...check
... carpool map studied...check
... school website scoured for any bit of worthy information a new parent should know...check
... exact dismissal time confirmed...check...check...and check
... school district app downloaded...check
... first PTO meeting attended...check
... school t-shirt washed and ready for spirit Fridays...check

So I think we have the first weeks covered.  But have I really prepared my child and me for the journey??

All summer long I've given longer hugs of comfort, extra words of confirmation and sometimes too much unsolicited advice.  After all my first born is just like me and I knew her list of worries might be different from mine but quite possibly just as lengthy.  And it showed in her numerous questions ranging from where is the bathroom and what will my desk look like, to will any friends be in her class (and some non-friends NOT being in her class) and will she be able to do the work her teacher requires of her. And since she is just like me I knew the unspoken concerns also.  With every reassurance and vote of confidence I gave her, I was giving myself an internal pep talk as well.

And I've just about worn out my knees praying for her. Specific prayers have been...
... to equip her with every spiritual blessing God has imputed into His children
... fill her with joy for learning and her specific classroom
... love for her classmates
... understanding of the material taught
... peace when she misses her mama
...  a heart of obedience to her teacher
... wisdom to make right choices
... discernment to pick friends wisely
... diligence to do her work well
... patience with others
... boldness to speak for truth


We've been reading scripture together this summer that I hoped would help her in her first weeks of adjustment.  And I have prayed just about as much for her teacher as I have for Kendall.  My prayer has been that God would place Kendall in the exact class with the best teacher for her.  Kendall's complicated "medical situations" have been a constant battle of worry and anxiety for me.  I know it's not due to Kendall's behavior, and I know she needed a teacher that would be compassionate, understanding and trusting to help foster a sense of ease in Kendall as worry on her part would probably make it all worse. Those qualities were more important to me than a teacher with a string of degrees behind her name, or accolades and popularity with the reputation of "THE teacher" every mamas hopes to get lucky enough to get.  And on the summer days when my emotions would get the best of me, I chose to trust God's sovereignty and faithfulness. 

Now to wait to see all these prayers come to fruition...

I've equipped my child in every way I know possible. Let's get the show on the road.  The suspense is killing us both!

Kindergarten, here WE come!