The Ever Evolving Question

Having walked the road of infertility for three years, I always cringed at prying personal questions and careless, flippant remarks about future children from others (acquaintances and strangers alike) who had no clue what was on the other side of that weighted, nosy question.  I was a master at my poker face even though I died a little on the inside when faced with yet another painful reminder of what I longed for yet didn't have.

So one pro of finally having my heart's longing fulfilled, so I thought, was an end to "The Question".  But then I learned all too quickly that The Question never ends, it just morphs.  Seriously?  I, a new mother who was hormonal, sleep deprived and overwhelmed (along with feeling a little guilty for feeling these things) was being asked about another baby??

Wishful thinking aside that the question would finally die, I wised up a little this time and figured that even though, yes, we tried for another one and were successful, the question would evolve yet again. 

Yep. The newest versions are currently, "So, are you going to try again for that boy?"  "How does your husband feel about another girl?"  Or the best yet..."Your poor husband.  He must be disappointed he's not getting a boy." (Yes, technically that's not formed as a question, but it's ignorant and appalling none the less.)  To which the answers would be respectively "No, we have exactly what our heart's desire was and God's will for us."  "He's thrilled beyond words."  And insert shock and awe face  repeat answer number two.

Really?!  Why would we be less than absolutely thrilled about another girl given that we love our first girl beyond words?  And why is it assumed that all men need a boy to somehow either complete or verify their manhood?  And why the heck would we think our family was incomplete or lacking in some way?  And, yes, if we had a boy we would be just as excited and blessed beyond measure.  Children are a heritage from the Lord.  They are a blessing.  And God predestined our two girls for our family for such a time as this before the foundations of the world existed.  Why would we not be anything other than overjoyed??

Upon airing my grievances over the matter the other day (all the while rolling my eyes) my non-smart-eleck husband (that role is usually reserved for me) had the perfect come back the next time a stranger has the nosiness to ask me a string of personal questions and the audacity to comment so recklessly.

His recommendation:  "Well, he'd be a little more excited if he knew for sure it's his.  We're still waiting on the paternity results."

LOL!  Really?! That's so good that I might not be able to resist the next time a stranger asks.  He did reiterate that it needed to be a stranger whom I'd never see again since I'm basically not painting myself in the BEST light. (So the chick-fil-a cashier is out since we frequent that place too much.  So is anyone from church or the neighborhood.) But I'm so proud of my husband and too much of a smart you-know-what myself, that I just might have to try it if the opportunity presents itself.  It just might be too much fun considering the shock value to pass up.

Subtle hint:  Don't ask random women in public if they're pregnant.  (You just could be wrong and then you'll just be plain embarrassed.) And don't follow up with asking gender/due date/name etc.  It's none of your business.  Simply congratulate them (only if you're 100% certain they indeed are pregnant) and they'll disclose as much personal information they choose.  But DO:  hold the door for them, give them your seat, and allow them to maneuver their big belly and three-year-old into the larger, handicap bathroom stall rather than being selfish and taking it for yourself.