So Where's My Rainbow?

Dontcha just hate it when plans, ever so craftily planned out as they may be, just don't go as planned?  Or you get some dreaded news?  Maybe someone has let you down.  Or maybe whatever "it" is is just not happening or not happening right. Since this is all on your mind I guess you've figured I'm in the midst of a storm.  Try several storms.  Yuck.

So what do we do when life throws us a curve?  Doesn't go our way? Has surprising and disappointing results or never ending storm clouds?  It's so easy to get into a funk and ask all the "Why" questions . I personally like to delve into self pity and an attractive, wallowing pout, all the while trying to figure out what I did to deserve it. But, really, who likes delayed gratification? How about a frustrating series of (non) events?  Want some unanswered prayer?  Here 'ya go. Here's a handful of lemons.  Now go make some lemonade. Gee, thanks.

Lately I've had some personal setbacks and uninviting occurrences.  It seems like, if life is a highway (sorry, i know that's a song), my car is stalled at the green light and everyone is honking and waving on their way by.  Ever felt that way?? How do we make sense of it all?  And why does God allow, or not allow in some instances, things to happen the way they do sometimes?  It's easy to praise Him for the blessings when the sun is shining.  But what about when storm clouds come?  And linger.

Well, our outlook and attitude really depends on our definitions of blessings. If blessings are merely the good, cotton candy and rainbows stuff that happens that makes us happy and satisfied that things are just as we wanted or better, then I'm afraid we'll spend alot of life frustrated and disappointed.  However, if blessings are events, circumstances or tangible things God brings into our lives to teach us  and pave the way for even greater future "blessings" then we just might view life differently.  Blessings could come by the way of God's favor or mercy in the midst of trials.  Blessings could be disguised in unanswered prayer because God has something more in store.  Blessings could be God revealing Himself personally to us in ways we never could experience except for on our knees. They teach us about ourselves and reveal God to us.  Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the sustaining power and protection of God in the midst of them.

Did you catch that?  God reveals Himself personally to us.  He desires fellowship with His children.  He's not just some "absent father" who holds us at arms length distance while pointing His finger into our faces.  He holds us in His hands. Jesus left Heaven, took on flesh in the state of a helpless baby, and bore our sins undeservedly so that we could have a relationship with Him!  What could possibly be better blessing than that?? So how do we so easily lose sight of this and limit our eyes to the here and now?  If Jesus was tempted with and felt all the feelings we felt, how could be shake our accusatory fists claiming that He just doesn't care or understand?  Have we forgotten how limited our understanding and sight is compared to God's infinite wisdom?  Have we dismissed His promises to us, such as to never leave us or forsake us or to work all things for good?

Lately alot has been on my mind.  Can ya tell?? Why did my friend's husband recently become diagnosed with an incurable, degenerative disease?  Why did another friend's mom find out that she had beginning stages of breast cancer that could easily be treated with radiation only later to find it was more invasive than thought and now has to face chemo?  Why did the people of Tuscaloosa and Joplin have to endure devastating tornadoes that killed loved ones and wiped out entire portions of their city?  Why am I suffering my own injustices?

Is healing limited to the physical body?  Are blessings merely flesh appeasers?  Are they limited to gain, profit or advantage? Or is healing of our souls, the eternal part of us that will carry into eternal life, the ultimate blessing?  Would we really want to trade God's unconditional love and assurance of eternity with Him in the Paradise for which our bodies were created in the first place for any earthly gain? What does a man profit if he gains the world but loses his soul?

My mom's friend with breast cancer, whom I referred to earlier, said something profound that has radically changed my stinky attitude of late.  In the midst of painful chemo treatments, hair loss, uncertainty, and possibly doubt of fear, she said that she will choose to focus on what God is doing through the circumstances in her and her family's lives rather than on what is being done.  Wow.  In other words, the journey, not the desired results, is important.  What does God desire to do through her that will affect others eternally, even if it includes diagnosis and painful treatments?  What is God teaching her about herself?  How is He displaying His unconditionally love and promise to never leave or forsake her?  How is He intimately revealing Himself to her?

I've had past trials that God has tremendously used to grow my faith and help me catch just a glimpse of His love and sovereignty.  And in hind sight, I am actually thankful for those trials because I would not be the person I am today.  Trials mold us.  They teach us,  They bring us back to our dependency on our Creator.  The stretch and challenge us.  And when we come through on the other side unscathed by the flames, unmoved by the waves, we can truly praise God for who His is. Love. Our Redeemer.  Our Restorer.  The Lifter of Our Heads. My Savior.

And just when I begin to doubt again, instead of treating me in the way I think I deserve, He wraps His loving arms around me and carries me. And when I am having crazy thoughts of how hard it is to let go of control, I think how crazy that thought truly is.  Who would I want in control, me, who can make a royal mess of things, or God who is perfect, all-knowing, sovereign and mighty to save?  When I get the right perspective again I remember several things:

God loves me more than I can imagine.
God has plans, good plans, for me.
God desires my heart.
And these present trials are not even to be compared to the glory yet to be revealed to us.

So whatever "it" is for you, hang in there.  Trust in God.  Let His joy be your strength.  And praise Him in the storm.  You will come out on the other side marveled at His love and grace for you. And knowing what you'll know then, you wouldn't trade any of it for the world.